i don't know why i can't get over this guy from last year.

i asked Bashaka (my God and Goddess name) for it for christmas.

it will be a miracle.

i don't understand, why, after a romance, the guy can't still be friends with me. why does it have to be  a "cut-off forever?" I never hurt him or cheated on him. Because we had an open-ended relationship, where we agreed to be "free," and see whomever else we wanted.

he was the closest thing to family i ever knew.

he filled that hole in my heart where family should be.

and no one has been able to fill it since then.

i am going through such a time of solitude, and i hate it so much.

i have to use most of my energy just on healing, since, as usual, my life is in danger (from yet another dibilitating illness).

i just want love. just friendship with him. Even if it's only internet friends. I just tried to message him (after not calling or messaging him in a year. And I was never obsessive before, either.) , he says "it's harrassment, and he could call the police!" i never even did anything mean to him! to deserve a police threat! i've always been kind and gentle with him. and loving. Never once was I violent or anything like that. And no one has ever threatened me with police before, and I don't understand. If he would at least explain. i only sent him ONE MESSAGE! and it was just to wish him a merry christmas!

But whatever.

I've been trying to get over him. It's a seemingly impossible task. I've progressed... but only very little, in a year of trying to get over him. I used to be consumed with him. It was as if he posessed me.

We became so one, physically and spiritually, that we were twin souls. I could hear his thoughts all the  time. And I could feel his feelings.

Change is possible.
change is possible.
that's what i always say.
i guess i'll keep fighting this battle.

if i'm precious in God/ddess's sight, then He/She will help me.

but it takes so much energy!!! to get over him!!!

i feel like i'm doomed.
and i will never get over him.

if anyone has psychic gifts, i would really like to know why i can't get over him.
thanks

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